tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69242975362746587712024-02-20T05:16:42.314-08:00Movie Reviews, Film Reviews, New Movies Coming OutSkippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-78020729943673266772015-11-09T08:51:00.000-08:002015-11-09T08:56:01.652-08:00MAD MAX: FURY ROAD MOVIE REVIEW<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: inherit;">MAD
MAX: FURY ROAD<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As
the best movie reviewer of all time, I need my eyes. Without them I can’t watch
movies. That’s why I’m not blind!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My
eyes are precious and I will bet you anything that Obama and Congress knows
this. I can feel it in my heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">That
is why I am so disappointed in “Mad Max: Fury Road.” It is all about dust which
can be very, very damaging to everybody’s eyes. Even though I wore my ski
goggles to watch this movie I did not feel safe and ended up walking out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A lot
of optometrists are very mad at this movie because no one likes dust, dust
particles or sand to get in your eyes. This is why no one lives in the desert. I
learned that in geography class in second grade!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And
this is the reason Max is so mad. He is always getting sand in his eyes. He’s
not the only one who is mad. I am also mad because I had to wear ski goggles to
this movie. And even then it was not enough. Many times I ducked for cover when
I seen the sand storm coming. A lot of times I closed my eyes.</span><br />
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This is very irresponsible of the filmmaker because I did not feel safe. I was yelling for help a lot and I ended up walking out. I am very upset about this. But don't worry my eyes are okay now. </div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-50246110970944445752015-02-22T16:27:00.000-08:002015-02-22T16:28:26.518-08:002015 OSCAR PREDICTIONS<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>2015 OSCAR PREDICTIONS</u></b></div>
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A lot of people have been calling and emailing me, asking what will happen at tonight's Oscars. As Hollywood's top movie critic, I am the best at everything in the world. I know so much and here's the lowdown on what to expect from the most exciting night of the year. Truly, this is my Super Bowl, World Cup and Wimbledon all wrapped in one except I hate sports because they are stupid and for chuckers and meatheads.<br />
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Tonight's Oscars will most likely start with me repeatedly hitting a broom on the ceiling of my bedroom until my parents come down and I beg them on my hands and knees to let me out of the basement so I can watch the show. </div>
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I will have to connect my VHS and Betamax players to the TVs upstairs. I am going to be recording the Oscars on videotape and am selling copies to the general public. Folks, these are going to sell out quickly so get yours NOW! This is once in a lifetime deal!!</div>
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After that my parents will probably make me doing something dumb like chores or whatever. I'll pretend to do them, but won't really because chores are stupid and for women! </div>
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I usually sit three feet from the TV because that's the best seat in the house. I know my mom will yell at me saying I'm going to ruin my eyes, but she's just a jealous head because she wants to steal my seat. </div>
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If she yells at me, I'll call my buddy Jessman and tell him this is ridiculous and I don't need it! I'll probably lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out until my mom apologizes and let's me eat M&M's, Skittles and Reese's Pieces in a bowl of chocolate milk. That's usually what they serve backstage at the Oscar's. I love food so much!!</div>
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A lot of people ask me what I'm going to wear. Here's the answer! Probably my Country Bears pajamas with Zeb Bear on them. I hope they give Zeb Zeb a lifetime achievement award tonight!</div>
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As far as the best movies, I think "The Nut Job" will take it all. I could watch this movie until my eyes bleed to death. </div>
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One of my formulas for movie success is this: </div>
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Animals = Box Office Smash. </div>
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That's true 99 percent of the time except with that dumb movie "Foxcatcher" which has nothing to do with foxes! I hate being lied to so much. </div>
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But my formula worked with "The Country Bears"(<a href="http://www.skippyharris.com/search/label/Top%20Ten%20Movies%20of%20All%20Time">the best movie in the entire world</a>) and I see it happening once again with "The Nut Job," especially because people love squirrels! Surly the squirrel will win Best Actor because he is amazing! Any squirrel that can raid a nut store is going to make waves in Hollywood and that is what he is doing now. </div>
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Mark my words, "Nut Job" is going to probably sweep every category. </div>
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And when this happens, I will go crazy and take off my pajamas and run through the house in my Spongebob underwear and bang pots and pans until my dad and mom spank me until I throw up and they make me go to bed. I won't be mad though because I love "The Nut Job" so much and it has made so many dreams come true. </div>
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Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-26026748028062711762015-01-12T16:35:00.003-08:002015-11-09T08:52:17.115-08:00THE INTERVIEW MOVIE REVIEW<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif";">THE
INTERVIEW (2014)<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t know what is
Hollywood’s big problem, but I am furious! I never thought I would say this,
but because of them I have to go to North Korea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now I’m trying to
learn how this Indiegogo thing works just so YOU can pay for my trip overseas.
That’s right, you, my fans, have the opportunity to send me to North Korea so I
can finally watch “The Interview” and review it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not sure how this
happened, but I read somewhere that North Korean leader King Jong-un forbade
Hollywood from showing this movie in America. He is the main star in the movie
and only wants his countrymen to see it and if anyone in the U.S. sees it they
will be killed. And there could even be a war!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t care about
these threats. As a movie reviewer, I have a major job to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That’s why I need you
to send me some money. Please! If you do I will give you the following
incentives: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">$100 – You win a free
pillow fight with me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">$500 – We get to eat
17 pounds of popcorn while watching reruns of “That’s So Raven”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">$1,000 – You get a
lifetime membership to my company Rewind and I will personally rewind any of
your VHS tapes for free<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So what are you
waiting for? Send your checks in the mail! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When you do I will
start the process of getting a passport and trying to convince my parents to
let me out of their basement and letting me go to North Korea. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The passport is the
easy part. They are a dime a dozen and you can buy them in Times Square from
what my friend Jesse told me. And booking a flight to North Korea is easy
because you can do that on Southwest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But without your money
I can’t go anywhere. Heck, I can’t even go to the fudge store or even the
movies unless my parents start increasing my allowance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-73140264221378748722014-02-11T07:44:00.000-08:002014-02-11T07:44:25.980-08:00SKIPPY HARRIS HITS THE BIG TIME! <div style="text-align: left;">
As you know I hate socks because the ones I wear usually have holes in them. And I never wash them because I don't know how to operate the washing machine either. Washing machines are for women!</div>
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Let's face it socks are horrible! That's why I love slippers. </div>
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But I changed my tune after signing a multi-million dollar deal with the guys at <a href="http://www.funsockfriday.com/">FunSockFriday</a>. The one thing I like is fun. And Friday. I guess I can pretend to like socks too. </div>
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I haven't gotten paid yet, but I told the guys I don't need the money. Just buy me a nice chocolate milk or something. </div>
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As for me I have a new role with FunSockFriday as a guest blogger. This is the first time I've ever been asked to do something other than clean my room by my dumb parents. Here's my <a href="http://bit.ly/Nypm6E">first entry</a> about Michael Bay and what he should do with the new Transformers movie. </div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-75245512845880586992014-02-09T14:59:00.001-08:002014-02-09T15:00:45.468-08:00AIR BUD: GOLDEN RECEIVER MOVIE REVIEW<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>AIR BUD: GOLDEN RECEIVER (1998)</u></b></div>
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With all apologies to "The Waterboy" and "Rookie of the Year", this is the greatest sports movie ever made.<br />
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A lot of people I know have dogs. Even my parents! But I've never seen any of those dogs catch a football, let alone score a touchdown. Most dogs just drool and sleep and eat and chew bones and bite mailmen.<br />
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Buddy (AKA Air Bud) is different and one of the best players ever - better than dumb Tom Brady or dumb Peyton Manning or dumb Barry Sanders. This is the TRUTH!!<br />
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Buddy is so fast and has four legs and no one can tackle him. He knows every play and is awesome! In the movie Buddy does it time and time again. If you are serious about football and making it to the pros you will watch this movie every day like I do!<br />
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That's why the Russians want Air Bud bad and they try to kidnap him because they want Buddy to play on their national team and win the Super Bowl from the Americans. Luckily for America, Buddy escapes. This cemented Buddy's legacy as a national treasure.<br />
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I think the commissioner of the NFL Roger Goodell needs to realize this. And he needs to rethink his policy about dogs and let them in the league. NOW! Otherwise the NFL will continue to be a sham and everyone knows it!<br />
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If all goes well I think dogs will be playing in the Super Bowl next year and one of them will win the MVP. When that happens we will have Air Bud - the greatest football player to ever play the game - to thank. And that will be a touchdown for all of us. </div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-39612304448829955622013-04-25T07:45:00.000-07:002013-04-25T07:45:09.490-07:00"I LIKE THE MOVIES" MUSIC VIDEO<div style="text-align: center;">
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Anyone who doubts that I like the movies needs to watch my newest music video which proves I am still the best movie reviewer in the world!</div>
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Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-42757739172910726632013-01-24T15:28:00.000-08:002013-01-24T15:29:15.394-08:00FLIGHT MOVIE REVIEW <br />
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<b><u>FLIGHT (2012)<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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This is a great, great movie about Denzel Washington’s life
before he became an actor. Obviously, most stupid people think Denzel Washington was
always an actor which is what <st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city>
wants you to believe.</div>
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But he wasn’t. First he was a baby. Immediately after that
he became a pilot, flying a bunch of cool airplanes around the world. </div>
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Because Denzel was so good at flying planes he got to his
destinations so quickly he had a lot of free time on his hands. </div>
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Sometimes free time is good. In Denzel’s case it was really
bad and he was doing many, many horrible things I can never mention. A lot of
this is between me and him and involves drugs and alcohol and staying up way
past his bedtime. </div>
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Unlike me, Denzel didn’t have his parents around to ground him
or spank him so he could get away with whatever he wanted. My parents are
always spanking me so much that I now have permanent tattoos of their hands on
my butt. That’s why I never go to the beach. </div>
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Many times Denzel went to the beach when he shouldn’t have, like when he didn’t do the dishes at home or when the ocean was way too cold
and sharks were everywhere. </div>
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He thought he was invincible! This is a major shame because
nobody I know is invincible except Keenan and Kel and The Country Bears
and Simon Birch and a woman my friend once dated called Can’t Kill Kim. Unlike
them, Denzel is human and he paid the ultimate price in the 1970's when he flew a plane full
of humans upside down and crashed it while high on a bunch of bad
drugs and caffeine. </div>
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It was all over the news and I will describe it in graphic
detail so you all know how bad it was: there was a lot of fires, plane wings,
blood, and people screaming. If you think I’m lying you’re an idiot. My dad was
on that plane which is why this is the most difficult movie review for me to
write. </div>
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I remember going to the court case with my dad and us
holding up signs that said, “Lock Him Up And Throw Away The Key. Please!” and
“Off With His Head. Please!” and “Kill Him. Pretty Please!” It
was a lot of fun. </div>
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They ended up putting Denzel in jail for a long time. While
in prison he watched a lot of inspirational videos on how to act featuring the greats like Dom
DeLuise and Mr. Belvedere.</div>
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By the time Denzel got out out jail he had been bitten by the acting bug and <st1:city w:st="on">Hollywood</st1:city> was abuzz. He
signed with an awesome agent, landed a role as the dad on The Cosby Show and
turned his life around. The rest, as they say, is history. </div>
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That’s why this movie is a must-see because it shows that
even if you fly a plane upside down, crash it and kill a lot of people your
life is not over. Unless you died in the plane crash. Then I think it is. </div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-60278583518672936282013-01-17T11:48:00.000-08:002014-02-09T14:31:02.071-08:00THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY MOVIE REVIEW<br />
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<b><u>THE HOBBIT (2012)<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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Without Peter Jackson short people would never have jobs. They
owe him a debt of gratitude they can never, ever repay. </div>
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If you think about it short people can’t do much of anything
which is why kids are such a nuisance. That’s why it is so surprising Peter
Jackson not only casts them in movies, but actually gets them to do stuff. </div>
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Pretty much every short person I know is always asking me to
lift them up so they can see. Once I lift them up they ask if they can sit on
my shoulders for a little while. I can’t count how many times I’ve had shoulder surgeries
because of this. That’s why I’m so glad about Obamacare. Instead of having my
parents perform those surgeries I’ll finally be able to have a real doctor do
them.</div>
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Neither of my parents know anything about medicine, but to
save money they’ve replaced my shoulders and shoulder bones multiple times with
Legos and cool things like that which never break. </div>
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Usually I’m awake during
those surgeries in case my parents have questions on where they should cut. </div>
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The other reason why this movie rocks so hard is because of
the soundtrack. In the past Peter Jackson has used composers who play boring
classical music that no one ever listens to. But this time he used my favorite
singer Psy. </div>
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Psy is the Asian Justin Bieber. He can do no wrong and is
probably going to be our next president. As you all know I have sent letters to
everyone in government to see if they can replace the national anthem with
Gangnam Style. How awesome would it be to do Gangnam Style before every
sporting event? I know we’d win every Olympics!</div>
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And that’s why "The Hobbit" is doing so good in the box
office. I don’t want to ruin the ending, but when all the hobbits have a dance
off with the orcs and dragons at the end to Gangnam Style my head literally
exploded. It was no big deal and the ushers didn’t care because my head is
always exploding so they just got a broom and dust pan and swept it up. </div>
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Luckily, they gave me my head back so
I could write this and tell everyone in the world to go see "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey."</div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-49294747816757866562012-07-10T09:19:00.000-07:002013-04-22T08:22:27.673-07:00PROMETHEUS MOVIE REVIEW<center>
<b><u>PROMETHEUS (2012)</u></b></center>
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I seen the first five minutes of this movie and walked out. It is a blatant slap in the face to people like myself who don’t shower and hate water with a passion.<br />
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Showering is overrated and unless you’re bleeding or have open wounds there is no need for it. Whatever. Obviously the filmmakers have an agenda. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Since when did filmmaking have to become political? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I hate water so bad I don’t even drink it! If you’re drinking water you’re drinking nothing and are a stupidhead. Why would you drink nothing when there is more awesome stuff to drink like Cherry Coke and root beer floats with chocolate ice cream in it? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A lot of people think the same way and they all walked out of this movie. If you did, you didn’t miss anything. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know this because I read a horrible movie review that liked "Prometheus" because it is about aliens. I would never want to see this because every day when I go to the bathroom it is like I’m giving birth to an alien. And when I’m done I flush those aliens down the toilet just like this movie.
</div>
Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-21397629718541069632012-05-29T10:43:00.001-07:002012-05-29T10:43:36.891-07:00DRIVE MOVIE REVIEW<div style="font-weight: normal; text-align: center;">
<b><u>DRIVE (2011)</u></b></div>
<br />
As you all know my parents won't let me get my driver's license until I turn 50 because there are so many crazy drivers out there. That's why they always put me in the back seat of their car in my own little booster seat with dozens of seat belts across my body and ropes around my hands and duct tape across my mouth.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This is proof that the road is a very dangerous place these days. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And that is why I was so skeptical about this movie. But once I watched "Drive" I realized that this is the one film that will change that by revolutionizing the way we drive automobiles. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I know for a fact that gear heads love this movie, but even young adults like myself who have super strict parents that don't allow their kids to get behind a steering wheel until they are full-on adults will find value in the positive message of this film.<br />
<br />
And I have a sneaking suspicion that "Drive" is going to be shown in driver's ed classes throughout the world. There are a ton of helpful hints here for people who are learning the rules of the road.<br />
<br />
My advice is before you apply for your learner's permit or driver's license is to watch "Drive" about 15 or 20 times and do everything that Ryan Gosling does in this movie. If you do the highways and byways of America will be a safer place for us all.</div>Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-74693535797644429922012-02-27T15:35:00.008-08:002012-03-28T13:21:36.138-07:00BIG MIRACLE MOVIE REVIEW<div style="text-align: center; "><u><b>BIG MIRACLE (2012)</b></u><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes you shake your head and scream, "What on Earth were you thinking, Hollywood?"</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Big Miracle" is the first movie to do that to moviegoers in 2012. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It had so much promise, but fell so flat. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Everyone loves whales, but come on! We've all seen them swimming and doing jumps and making stupid noises under the water that make no darn sense to anyone except Leonardo DiCaprio. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Where director Ken Kwapis and his team missed the mark is that they did not take that extra leap of faith to make this movie what it could have been: GREAT. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I know a ton of crap about the movies. That's why I know I'm not the first person to think that "Big Miracle" should have been combined with "The Grey" to make a super rocking movie about wolves fighting whales. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I was in fourth grade I spent a lot of time debating with my friends which animal is the strongest. Some said tigers. Others said sharks. My dumb teacher, Mr. Madjarevic, said the platypus, but the platypus doesn't even have teeth. You can't beat up anyone without teeth. Just ask Mike Tyson!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I disagreed and said the wombat was the toughest animal alive because it is deceptively strong and agile, but I was young and so naive. <span style="font-size: 100%; ">After watching "Kangaroo Jack" on the big screen I now realize the kangaroo has it all: intestinal fortitude, courage and major jumping ability. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course the only way to settle this argument is to have the animals go head-to-head in a winner take all battle royale. If I owned a zoo that is what I would do. I'd throw the llamas into the polar bear cage with the winner facing the sea turtle. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Combining "Big Miracle" with "The Grey" would have gone a long way to settling the dispute because everyone knows whales and wolves are the fiercest competitors alive. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am sweating through my Simon Birch pajamas just thinking about a wolf jumping onto the back of a whale. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Would the wolf bite the whale into submission or would the whale knock the wolf unconscious with his tale and then do a super jump onto the wolf's head?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If the wolf dragged the whale onto land I'm pretty sure he would win, but if the whale forced the wolf into an underwater duel he would win. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Also, where does Liam Neeson fit in? He is a great coach. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I'm not sure what side I'm on, but I'd love to wear a half-wolf, half-whale T-shirt that glows in the dark. I think a lot of ladies would fall in love with me if I did.</div>Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-8408000954667150192012-02-03T09:50:00.000-08:002012-02-15T13:59:14.661-08:00JACK AND JILL MOVIE REVIEW<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><u>JACK AND JILL (2011)</u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>I never thought there would be a movie that could top <a href="http://www.skippyharris.com/2008/05/blog-post.html">"The Country Bears"</a>, but then "Jack and Jill" comes along and blows it out the water.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>I saw this movie 39 days in a row until Dave Jarvis, the manager at the movie theater decided to stop showing it without input from die hard "Jack and Jill" fans like me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>I’m almost certain my parents were in total cahoots with Dave – just like they thwarted me from getting a tattoo of my new favorite movie characters (Jack AND Jill) on my ankle. What they don’t know is I drew it on my ankle myself with a Sharpie. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>My parents are so UNFAIR!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>No matter what they do they can’t stop me from loving the movie of the decade. I am predicting big, big things for "Jack and Jill" including a total sweep of the Oscars, Golden Globes and the Emmy’s. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>Every time I watched it I caught something I missed the previous time. There are so many hidden gems in "Jack and Jill" it is amazing. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>And the biggest gem of them all is Adam Sandler. If I could give him a basket of personal kudos I would. He wouldn’t have to water those kudos because kudos last forever. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>Sandler proved to the critics that he is our generation’s Eddie Murphy. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>I would not be surprised if the sequel to this movie starred only Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler. They have set the bar high for aspiring actors and created an industry unto its own. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>Besides multiple sequels and prequels, I am already imagining a "Jack and Jill" clothing line, action figures, a Broadway show and amusement park. The future looks very, very bright indeed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-83193075966768863122011-11-10T11:28:00.001-08:002012-02-15T13:57:02.083-08:00CAST AWAY MOVIE REVIEW<div><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><u>CAST AWAY (2000)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br>Women are always trying to lose weight, especially fat women. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Believe me, I know. I’ve been slapped millions of times in the face after a woman tells me she’s on a diet and I burst out laughing.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Diets don’t work because women are always cooking. And when they are not cooking they are eating what they cook. That’s why god invented kitchens so women have a place to go. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve thought long and hard about trying to come up with the perfect diet to no avail. The reason, of course, is that women have no will power. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">That’s what I thought until I watched Cast Away this past weekend. This is a must-see for every woman in the entire world because it shows exactly how YOU can shed those unwanted pounds. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s simple! All you have to do is board a plane and have it take you to a deserted island where you will have to live alone for the next 5 to 10 years eating coconuts, leaves and rain water. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m in the process of patenting this diet and I hope to offer my readers a chance to participate in this weight loss program shortly. So please send me all your money so I can give you the figure you have always dreamed of having. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><b><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration:none"> </span></o:p></u></b></p></div>Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-84023053935495940992011-08-09T07:09:00.000-07:002011-11-10T11:31:21.152-08:00RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES MOVIE REVIEW<div style="text-align: center;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></u></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span">RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011)</span></u></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">What a bunch of lies. I am sick of this!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This movie is utter-deceitful and hurtful. I am crying so bad. My eyes are falling out of my head. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I have known many apes in my life and never once - NEVER, EVER - have they escaped from their cages or zoos. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">You should all be ashamed of yourself, Hollywood. Stand up and be accounted for. Listen!!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I can no longer think straight because this movie makes me so upset. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">The apes I KNOW ride unicycles and hold a banana up to their ears when the phone rings. Why was that not in this movie? </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This film is atrocious. It missed the point. Audiences wants to see apes doing cartwheels and maybe scratching their armpits. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">It is evident that the apes in this movie were put on some sort of hallucinogenic drugs and forced to do very bad things. These are things that are so unmentionable - like punching humans and destroying vehicles and bridges - that I will not even mention them. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I know why the apes did this too - for money and fame. But the one thing I know is that money and fame can only get you so far. Money and fame will not get you the things you need like the xBox 360 or a pizza party or front row tickets to the Jenny Jones Show. Those are things you have to earn and by the looks of this movie that will never happen. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span">EDITOR'S NOTE: Skippy Harris' views towards apes should not be confused with his views towards <a href="http://www.skippyharris.com/2011/06/hangover-part-ii-movie-review.html">monkeys</a> which he loves.</span></i></div>Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-73223201519402949682011-06-29T11:59:00.000-07:002011-06-29T12:00:46.261-07:00FORREST GUMP II MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C02%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>FORREST GUMP II<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie hasn’t come out yet so there’s no reason for me to review something that I haven’t seen although I could if I wanted to. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-40097836413369125462011-06-27T11:34:00.000-07:002011-06-27T11:36:36.252-07:00THE FIGHTER MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C02%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>THE FIGHTER (2010)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie is so stupid! It’s not about a fighter. It’s about a boxer. Obviously the director and screenwriter and actors never graduated from kindergarten. Get a clue! </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-14696024918689944502011-06-15T08:46:00.000-07:002011-08-09T07:33:12.922-07:00THE HANGOVER PART II MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>THE HANGOVER PART II (2011)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you saw the first Hangover you pretty much know what the message of this one will be – wild animals are pretty much the coolest things ever. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And if you get drunk there’s a pretty good chance you will cross paths with one. In the first movie Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug all find a tiger in their hotel room the night after they went out partying in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Las Vegas</st1:place></st1:city>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I can only imagine riding on the back of a tiger down the street and waving my sword at all my enemies, especially every manager who has kicked me out of their movie theater and every motorist who has thrown tomatoes at my lemonade stand. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While I was very distraught there was no tiger in The Hangover II, there is something even better - a monkey. I’ve wanted a monkey since I was one-year-old. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Combined with a pet tiger, my life would be perfect with a monkey in the house. My monkey would play the drums and maybe do card tricks. I’d also want my monkey to dress up as a high-powered attorney and reenact scenes from the greatest court film ever made, My Cousin Vinny.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’d also make my monkey a partner in my lemonade stand because who wouldn’t buy lemonade from a monkey? And if it catches one this will be one of the greatest financial models ever because behind every great business is a monkey. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-87542905764289824752011-06-13T07:36:00.000-07:002011-08-09T07:29:19.355-07:00THOR MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>THOR (2011)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center">
<br /><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie is the last thing the construction industry needs which is why every builder and handyman should be protesting Thor day and night to get it out of the theaters.</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t know why you would give a hammer to someone who doesn’t do anything with it but hurt people. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve already written a letter to Bob Vila and I’m pretty sure he’s pissed. Bob Vila is one of the world’s greatest builders and uses a hammer on nails, not on people’s foreheads. If he did he’d be in jail forever. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I remember once I was hammering a framed autographed photo of Jerry Springer onto my wall and I hit my thumb by mistake. It was a mistake I will never make again because that was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life (not counting the time I was attacked by an angry family of squirrels). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">That is why a hammer is a tool to be feared and used by only the smartest people. Thor obviously isn’t smart. He is dumb and not once in this movie does he build something cool like a water park or an ice cream shop. These are places adults like me go to every day of our lives. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And while I’m not a financial expert, I know the real estate industry and construction trades are reeling from the very bad economy. The last thing we need is Thor coming around and giving them a bad name. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie is going to set us back 30 years. I predict total economic ruin and chaos, all because one guy doesn’t know how to use a hammer the right way. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-67906981095255708712011-04-26T11:07:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:12:59.865-07:00POWDER MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>POWDER (1995)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am leading a boycott of Powder after I learned the filmmakers refused to audition any minorities for the lead role. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is discrimination at its worst which is why you should never ever see this movie even if it means saving the world from an alien attack. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If anyone watches Powder I promise you that this country will take two steps backward and we will lose all that we have gained from the civil rights movement. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-15643732326535701162011-03-08T11:35:00.000-08:002011-03-08T11:45:05.620-08:00THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2009)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am torn right now because I love dragons so much, but I hate tattoos. They are the worst.</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyone with tattoos needs to be banned for life. And that is a fact.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">People who have tattoos can never be trusted. The things they do make me break out into a cold sweat.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A year ago I saw a man who had tattoos all over his body at the carnival. I had horrible nightmares for a week straight. I ended up sleeping with my parents in their bed and they would rock me to sleep.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">People with tattoos do horrible things like shoot guns, drink whiskey and say four letter words. They should all be in jail and politicians know this.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A police officer once told me people with tattoos are committing more crime than anyone else. For this reason I can not recommend seeing this movie even if you have already seen it. And it is also why I can not recommend being friends with any girl, especially if she has a dragon tattoo. If you don’t believe me you probably have a tattoo and I don’t want anything to do with you. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-68737908334922608702011-03-02T16:20:00.000-08:002011-04-26T11:11:05.429-07:00JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C02%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"\0027times new roman\0027"; panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-alt:"Times New Roman"; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:auto; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Georgia; panose-1:2 4 5 2 5 4 5 2 3 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:647 0 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:735318517; mso-list-template-ids:1706221442;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><span style=";font-family:";" >JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER (2011)</span></u><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Up until last year Justin Bieber was just a normal boy with the voice of an angel and a great head of hair, but then he had major surgery. All of his hard core biggest fans, especially me, were scared to death and cried ourselves to sleep. We all thought his career was over and, in turn, our lives would be over.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >We had nothing left to live for.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >During that time I sent him over 382 handwritten letters. I know for a fact he read each one because the police told me I can never contact him again. I've never had that happen to me before so I framed the correspondence from the police chief and hung it over my bed. I look at it before I go to sleep every night knowing I made a difference in Bieber's life.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >The doctors didn't thank me, but I know for a fact that without my letters Bieber's surgery wouldn't have been a success.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >When Bieber came out of the hospital he was more powerful than we could have ever imagined. He was more than Justin Bieber. He was 3D Justin Bieber.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Critics said it could never happen, but Justin Bieber NEVER says NEVER.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Now that he is 3D, Bieber can pretty much do whatever he wants, including, but not limited to:
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ol style="margin-top: 0in;" start="1" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:";" >Ride dragons<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:";" >Dance with a basket of fruit on his head</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:";" >Swim the <st1:place st="on">Atlantic Ocean</st1:place> in one day</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:";" >Wear wool sweaters without being itchy</span></li><li class="MsoNormal" style=""><span style=";font-family:";" >Burn money and laugh while doing it</span></li></ol> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Obviously this is just a small list of his new powers.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >The greatest part is that every time he gets stronger no-talent singers like Lady Gaga and Ruben Studdard get weaker. The medical establishment is pretty stoked over this because Lady Gaga and Ruben Studdard are bankrupting our health care system because they are making our ears bleed. There is no cure for this condition. <span style="">
<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";" ><span style=""></span></span><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Even if Lady Gaga teamed up with Ruben Studdard they would have to be trained by Hulk Hogan because he is the only one who could pin 3D Bieber in a wrestling match. Luckily, Hulk Hogan is busy getting divorced to women and riding motorcycles into police barricades so he doesn't have time to deal with 3D Justin Bieber.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";" ></span><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:";" >Plus, 3D Justin Bieber would probably form an alliance with Hulk Hogan and they would record a Christmas album together. That is the only thing 3D Bieber hasn't done. This would do wonders for the North Pole which has been devastated by the recession. In the movie 3D Bieber blames Lehman Brothers for the collapse of the North Pole.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=";font-family:";" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Boycott Lehman Brothers. And then dance. That is what 3D Bieber does.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">At some point in the near future I am confident 3D Justin Bieber will finally destroy Lady Gaga and Ruben Studdard or at least send them to <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Colombia</st1:place></st1:country-region> where they would be forced to pick coffee beans for Starbucks at minimum wage.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So now that Bieber is 3D what can we expect? Many people are predicting that he will become the next president of the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region>. When that happens we will never say never again except when we have to say the name of this movie. Then we would have to say never. Twice. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-38439755046184689642011-02-28T10:33:00.000-08:002011-04-26T11:09:26.569-07:00THE KING'S SPEECH MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>THE KING’S SPEECH (2010)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you live in <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">America</st1:country-region></st1:place> you will never ever be able to see this movie thanks to our forefathers and Barack Obama. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We owe them all a big debt of gratitude for this because kings are the most corrupt people in the world. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I was in third grade I learned about people like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington who fled England on a high speed boat – I did a book report on this and know for a fact the boat went over 110 miles per hour – because the king wanted to behead them.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Pretty much all kings do is take land and behead people. Sometimes they pay a minstrel to sing songs about them, but if the king doesn’t like the songs he beheads them. This is why Lady Gaga never sings for kings because she would never have a head anymore and no one would buy a CD from a performer with no head.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Once the minstrel is dead the king takes their land and builds a skyscraper or a mini-mall on it.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This did not go over well with Jefferson and Washington who hated big buildings. They liked apple orchards so they created a system of government without kings. This is called the Constitution. It is a piece of paper that is so old it is yellow.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t know why the Constitution is yellow, but someone told me <st1:place st="on">Jefferson</st1:place>’s dog peed on it. I don’t doubt it because some dogs are peeing everywhere. Gross. Please clean up after your dog!
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the Constitution is this thing called a president who is the most powerful man in the world. He has his own plane which kings don’t have. The only thing kings have is castles which can be destroyed with catapults and flaming arrows.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">One of the things the Constitution does is give the president of the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region> an endless supply of catapults and flaming arrows. This has rendered all kings powerless.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So now kings just give speeches and behead people. But in <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">America</st1:country-region></st1:place> kings are not allowed to make speeches because (1.) no one cares (2.) they could be ordering a secret beheading of all Americans.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The only speeches we are allowed to hear are from the president. Usually he talks about things I don’t know about like banks or science.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is why many people are ticked off at the Academy Awards because they gave an Oscar to The King’s Speech for best picture. No one can ever trust the Academy Awards again because they have backstabbed every thing we believe in, including our way of life.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t keep up on news, but if memory serves me correct Obama said to Congress, in no certain terms, would he ever allow The King’s Speech to be shown in America which is a good thing because who wants to see a movie that tries to bring us down.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Instead he is using our taxes to fund a remake of The King’s Speech called The President’s Speech. Now this is change we can all believe in. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-60006411781851317302011-02-17T07:08:00.000-08:002011-04-26T11:10:30.030-07:00127 HOURS MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>127 HOURS</u></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-weight: bold;">(Part Two) </span>
<br /><b style=""><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">I never review a movie twice, but I am so upset at the director and the cast, especially James Franco.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">These people are the walking definition of charlatans. Never again can I trust them and neither should you.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Here’s why I am so angry. Supposedly this movie is based upon a real story of a guy who cut his arm off.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So basically what you’re telling me, James Franco, is all I have to do to have a movie made about me is cut off a body part? Well, how about I cut my foot off? What about my head? Or my fingernails?
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This makes my stomach churn. <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Hollywood</st1:city></st1:place> has officially jumped the shark. Apparently they are going for the lowest common denominator now. Saw off any part of your body and it’s worthy of a feature length movie?!
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Take a long hard look in the mirror, Franco. You probably won’t like what you see. And then you’ll have to get a new mirror. Just don’t expect to borrow one from me. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-35025933259704258192011-01-31T08:08:00.000-08:002011-04-26T11:09:46.466-07:00127 HOURS MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>127 HOURS<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie is way shorter than the title suggests. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6924297536274658771.post-54126902458936119242011-01-07T08:49:00.000-08:002011-04-26T11:10:06.652-07:00TRUE GRIT MOVIE REVIEW<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CCHRISK%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u>TRUE GRIT (2010)<o:p></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;">
<br /></span></o:p></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The only reason I went to see this movie is because I’ve been told countless times I have true grit. For the most part that is true although I still don’t know what true grit means. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I know one thing: a lot of companies are looking to hire people with true grit. That is why I list true grit at the top of my resume. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hollywood</st1:place></st1:city> and the Coen brothers finally realized it was important to make a movie about true grit in order to get out of the recession. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I would say for like 90 percent of the movie there is a bunch of true grit going on, but the remaining 10 percent is not grit. A lot of critics will complain about this, but I’d like to concentrate on the grit I saw that was true.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is so much true grit in this movie although it was not special effects. As someone who has true grit I can attest to that. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t want to give away the ending (spoiler alert), but essentially there is true grit everywhere even on the horses which was a total shock to the system. But when it comes to true grit you can’t predict anything. </p> Skippy Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08070145705625220319noreply@blogger.com0