“Zombieland” says to me that this movie is going to be about a land full of zombies.
I’ll bet anything, even my aunt’s dentures and my uncle’s glass eye, that I’m right. And if I’m not right I’m pretty sure my aunt and uncle will be very mad at me.
Editor's Note:How did Skippy come to this conclusion? He took the Latin roots of the word Zombieland – “zombie” and “land” – and used that as the basis of this movie review. Zombie in Latin means a dead person who is not dead, while land in Latin means a big piece of property you can walk on like America or Mississippi or Luxembourg.
My mom won't let me watch this movie because it is rated R.
Until I do I can only imagine what this film is about. If it is anything like the video game you guys probably already know that I lost in the second level and got rushed to the hospital with a broken thumb because I played it 17 hours straight.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love pillow fights which is the one thing I have in common with just about every sorority girl in this country.
Every college sorority mandates their pledges and full members be proficient, and in some cases expert, in the use of pillows.
On nearly every night of the week you can walk into any sorority house in America and see a bunch of college coeds jumping up and down in their nightgowns hitting each other with pillows. That is what they do for fun.
And it is what I do for fun as well. Over the past decade I’ve gone undefeated in pillow fights, 39-0 with one draw, but that draw doesn’t count because my brother Twiggy farted in my face during the match and caused me to lose my concentration in the last round.
Since then my family has outlawed farting in pillow fights, making it grounds for disqualification and banishment from future competitions.
Outside of the one blemish on my record, I’ve become a legend not only in my neighborhood, but also in my bedroom where I have eight pillows of all shapes and sizes that I use to administer body blows, back breakers and face transplants.
I can do with pillows what Bruce Lee did with nunchucks and Clay Aiken does with songwriting.
That is why I went to see “Sorority Row” and you should too, especially if you want to learn more about the dangers of pillow fighting.
While I am an accomplished pillow fighter, I urge people to take classes and learn the ropes before doing so in their own living room because people can get hurt real bad.
In some cases it can even lead to death if you are not careful.
“Sorority Row”, a movie based on a true story of seven sorority girls who died in an awful pillow fight one night in 1981 in West Virginia, is proof of this. I never want to see an incident like this happen again which is why I urge you all to see this movie.
I never went to prom in high school and I'm glad I never did. Many of the girls in my high school had zits and wore braces. Making out with them was torture and medically unsafe so I decided it was safer to stay at home than risk serious injury.
After watching this movie on Friday with my parents, I realized just how right I was. I could have gotten my head chopped off or my body put into a trash compactor. Either way, it wouldn't have been a fun date.
