TRUE GRIT MOVIE REVIEW

TRUE GRIT (2010)

The only reason I went to see this movie is because I’ve been told countless times I have true grit. For the most part that is true although I still don’t know what true grit means.

But I know one thing: a lot of companies are looking to hire people with true grit. That is why I list true grit at the top of my resume.

I think Hollywood and the Coen brothers finally realized it was important to make a movie about true grit in order to get out of the recession.

I would say for like 90 percent of the movie there is a bunch of true grit going on, but the remaining 10 percent is not grit. A lot of critics will complain about this, but I’d like to concentrate on the grit I saw that was true.

There is so much true grit in this movie although it was not special effects. As someone who has true grit I can attest to that.

I don’t want to give away the ending (spoiler alert), but essentially there is true grit everywhere even on the horses which was a total shock to the system. But when it comes to true grit you can’t predict anything.

THE BOOK OF ELI MOVIE REVIEW

THE BOOK OF ELI (2010)

If you are a New York Giants fan you can not be pleased with this movie, especially since your star quarterback went out and wrote a book in the middle of the season.

Needless to say Eli Manning has a lot of explaining to do.

The one question I have for him is this: What is more important to you – football or writing books?

This movie pretty much answers that question. Because of his mixed up priorities Eli Manning ruined his team’s chances of getting into the playoffs.

What he has done is besmirched the game and whoever the commissioner of football is needs to think about banning him for a year. Maybe even for life. This is serious.

His teammates probably can’t stand the sight of him and vomit into trash cans repeatedly. If I were Eli I’d be careful because the other Giants players are probably waiting to whip him in the showers with rolled up towels. I hope it stings and leaves a red mark on Eli’s thigh.

Maybe one day he will learn his lesson: you don’t write a book until you are retired and very old and have nothing better to do with your time. Those are the people who write books. Not people who are supposed to be throwing football passes to teammates for touchdowns.

Instead Eli fumbled the ball, big time on this one, which is why he’ll never play another game again.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN MOVIE REVIEW

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NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)

I see the title of this movie and think only one thing: RIGHT ON!

Old people get so many perks in life, why should they get their own country?

They already have their own state, Florida. I went there five years ago with my parents and will never go there again. That state smells like a combination of cottage cheese and a nursing home.

When I got home from that trip, I did a lot of scientific research on old people and made an amazing list about why they are bad. I have never shown my parents this list because they are old.

This is the first time I am releasing this information to the public.

Why Old People Are Bad

1. They wear big hats
2. They never shower
3. They support railroads
4. They always use cash
5. They take forever in the bathroom and like to stink it up hardcore
6. They hate awesome things like Doritos, teeth and chocolate
7. Their hair and fingernails are always falling into my soup
8. They are always climbing ladders
9. There are so many of them
10. They are bad ice skaters

Now you tell me: is there anything good about old people?