July 6, 2010



My friend Jessman called me an hour before this movie was showing to ask if I wanted to go see it.

I told him it was my duty to go because of my job as a professional movie reviewer. Also, I am at the top of my game and I told Jessman I want to ensure I remain the king of the industry.

But now I wonder if I ever should have gone in the first place. Jessman was driving very, very fast and blasting WASP’s Greatest Hits at loud levels.

I told him to calm down and then he told me to calm down.

At that point I was crying and asked him to pull over so I could puke on the side of the road. He wouldn’t pull over so I puked all over his face and his car, especially his leather seats. He wanted me to clean it up, but I couldn’t because I was so sick. He told me I was lying, but to prove it I puked all over his face again.

I have never puked that many times and now am in the hospital. I puked 27 times which the doctor said was a world record. I hope I can get into the record books for puking because I’ve never held any world records in my life and my family would be very proud of me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that puking 27 times is not the record for most pukes in one sitting. It used to be until ten minutes ago when I read your "review" of Toy Story 3 (a film which incidentally changed my life)and then puked 28 times. It's a good thing I have Stanley Steamer on speed dial.