A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2009)
I went to see this movie to put me in the Christmas spirit, but right now I’m really ticked off and want to fight Christmas with both my fists and my arm.
I don’t care if I have to take a Christmas tree and jump on top of it and throw it against the wall and roll all over it – I am ready to take no prisoners.
Also, such things as Christmas wreaths, Santa hats and red and green holiday M&M’s have been put on red alert. I will kick them when they are down, strangle them hard and will mix it up with them. I’m known as a grappler around town. That is the truth.
Even though I’m very mad the one thing I still love is the truth. And the truth is what I want.
It began when we got out of the car and it started to pour out and my hair was being ruined. Whoever made it rain will have hell to pay. I don’t know who it is, but he should not have done it.
Then we get inside and my mom and dad and brother made me pay for them because they conveniently forgot their money and credit cards at home.
Apparently I am made of money even though I don’t have a job. I’m Mr. Money Bags even though I’m not a Mister, don’t have money and don’t own any bags.
So it wasn’t enough that I bought them tickets to the movies, but I had to buy them popcorn, Skittles, an ice cream bar, a large Sprite and two large Diet Cokes. Luckily they didn’t charge me for the napkins, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if they did because that is why this movie is so bad.
When “A Christmas Carol” started I realized I had seen it before. I’m not sure where but it may have been somewhere else. With other actors or even puppets.
I know this to be true because the movie seemed very familiar like it had been in black and white and is shown every year on television. Or even it could have been in color on television.
I know you are thinking I’m crazy, but I’m not because I recognized some of the names being mentioned in the movie like Scrooge, Marley, Bob Cratchit and the ghost of Christmas present.
Anyway, that is what this movie is about.
Now I’m at home fuming over my credit card bill and am seriously in debt. Thank you, "A Christmas Carol." I hope you are happy. Get lost, loser.