April 30, 2009



I don't like dictionaries because there are so many hard words in that book. But there is one word that is not - Superbad.

Believe me I know. I looked twice.

Some awesome words that are in the dictionary are Superman, Superfreak, Super Duper, and Superintendent.

SUPERMAN – This is a guy who flies around in a cape and spandex. He can jump over buildings and lift lots of weights. I assume he has a membership at the YMCA or Gold’s Gym, but I have never seen him there.

He used to live in a phone booth, but I don't know if he still does because George Bush removed them all from this country. This was the first act as President that he signed into law.

Occasionally I will see some phone booths the government did not remove, but I have never seen Superman there. Usually I only see homeless people in them, but that could just be Superman in disguise.

SUPERFREAK – This is someone who is really freaky.

It is what you get when Marilyn Manson and Dennis Rodman have babies together. Most of Marilyn and Dennis’ babies are performers in that show Cirque de Soleil. They can bend their back in half and breathe fire.

The only thing I can do with fire is roast marshmallows and light my farts on fire. That is why I am not in Cirque de Soleil.

SUPER DUPER – This is what you ask for at McDonald's when you want the largest fries and soda. You tell them to Super Duper Size it. It costs 50 cents extra, but believe me it is worth it.

SUPERINTENDENT – This is someone who intends to not just be great, but super. I don't know many Superintendents, but the ones I do know are all hard working people. They will not settle for anything less than the best.

After reading these words in the dictionary I wondered why Superbad is not in there and what it even means.

I called the director of the movie, Greg Mottola, but his number was busy. I bet many people are calling him to find out the definition of Superbad. He obviously has a lot of explaining to do.

After doing all this research, I decided to take one for the team and see this movie.

From what I gather, being Superbad means you are a kid in high school, you drink alcohol, and you swear a lot. You also must dress poorly, hang out with cops, get hit by cars, shoot guns, fight homeless people, use public transportation, and cuddle with your best friend in a sleeping bag.

I am glad I don't have a best friend or a sleeping bag. My best friend is myself and I sleep on an air mattress. If I am right then that means I am not Superbad.

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