THE INTERVIEW (2014)
I don’t know what is Hollywood’s big problem, but I am furious! I never thought I would say this, but because of them I have to go to North Korea.
Now I’m trying to learn how this Indiegogo thing works just so YOU can pay for my trip overseas. That’s right, you, my fans, have the opportunity to send me to North Korea so I can finally watch “The Interview” and review it.
I’m not sure how this happened, but I read somewhere that North Korean leader King Jong-un forbade Hollywood from showing this movie in America. He is the main star in the movie and only wants his countrymen to see it and if anyone in the U.S. sees it they will be killed. And there could even be a war!
I don’t care about these threats. As a movie reviewer, I have a major job to do.
That’s why I need you to send me some money. Please! If you do I will give you the following incentives:
· $100 – You win a free pillow fight with me
· $500 – We get to eat 17 pounds of popcorn while watching reruns of “That’s So Raven”
· $1,000 – You get a lifetime membership to my company Rewind and I will personally rewind any of your VHS tapes for free
So what are you waiting for? Send your checks in the mail!
When you do I will start the process of getting a passport and trying to convince my parents to let me out of their basement and letting me go to North Korea.
The passport is the easy part. They are a dime a dozen and you can buy them in Times Square from what my friend Jesse told me. And booking a flight to North Korea is easy because you can do that on Southwest.
But without your money I can’t go anywhere. Heck, I can’t even go to the fudge store or even the movies unless my parents start increasing my allowance.